This summer has flown by in a crazy fast way! I went for a long run the other day in the fall leaves and realized, with the autumn colors all around me that winter is definitely on its way. I love summer, and look forward to it every year, especially with all the festivals going on in Edmonton. This year felt a bit different though. Post-tour, the season had its ups and downs for me, especially in trying to determine what the next musical steps are. Up until then, everything was humming along smoothly, but a series of grant rejections put a little kink in my “business plan steps” for promoting the album. And like most projects that get a wrench thrown at them, it takes awhile to realize there may be another path or way to take than the one you’ve been pushing on.
For me, some of this made me realize that maybe I needed a little break. The tour planning was busy, the tour itself a tremendous amount of fun, but it was hectic. I also started to notice that, without realizing it, there had started to be a “point” to everything I was doing. I was picking shows strategically, hoping it would get somewhere, writing songs with other people in mind and putting a lot of pressure on myself. And with so much pressure attached to specific outcomes – I started to feel a lot less joy when things weren’t going exactly the way I pictured. I forgot to just sing because it makes me happy.
So I decided to spend the rest of the summer trying to remember what music and creativity feels like when there is no point. And part of that meant being creative in ways that were different than music. I took an art class and enjoyed painting (even though my pictures looked like a 5 year old drew them) because it was fun – and there was no point other than that, because I know I’ll never be an aspiring visual artist. I went for walks and did yoga, and started to realize that so much happiness exists in the now. I won’t be happier when all my expectations for music get fulfilled until I learn to enjoy all the little moments in life that are happening around me now. And there are so many!!! And there has been such overwealming support for my music this summer.
One example: I was a finalist in the Lite 95.7 Artist Spotlite, and while I didn’t win it, the amount of people who voted and sent messages to cheer me on was incredible!! I am so grateful for the time people took to support me. And so now I’m in the process of booking a few more shows and planning some new steps – without any expectation but to enjoy making music and bring out something from a good place inside me! Can’t wait : )